Mission Report 025


AAA LLC. Headquarters
First Investigation Group (A)
Office of the Operations Officer

Day 389

SUBJECT: Narrative Report of Operations, 1st Extraction Group.
MISSION #025, Codename: Squid Bid (Rank D)
STATUS: Success

      Lt. Cmdr. Ersatz, Commanding
      Jade, MVP (Unanimous)

Capture the Kadashian Thunder Squid.


1. Associates departed HQ aboard the Flying Taxman on day 331, and arrived in Yasha, on Kadash nine (9) days later without incident.

2. The extraction team sought out fishing companies in the local directory, and came across a Captain Ahab. Zorn led the team to the fish market, near the docks, where dockhands were able to direct the team to Captain Ahab’s location. Zorn bought a crate of fish. Jade took the opportunity to absorb local culture, and learned numerous sea shanties.

3.The team enlisted Captain Ahab on their squid capture venture by offering their assistance as well as a commemorative photo and portrait. Operational asset Ahab agreed to supply them with a ship equipped for hunting the squid of fable, and captain it.

4. While the vessel was undergoing preparations, the team established contact with their contacts in Yasha. They got Lisa Pisa to provide a bid for the squid in excess of Barley’s offer, they warned Emily Gatling about the Gays(sp?) of the Void and gifted her a tracking ring, visited with Aimee Lasers and checked the status of the helix flower, and got information from Henry Angler about the squid’s food of choice: oil.

5. The Tide Hunter departed the Yasha docks for a likely site of squid activity: the crab sea lab. The Tide Hunter arrived in the area of operations 1 day later, without incident. Upon entering sealab space, they were warned to leave immediately or be fired upon, but the extraction team managed to smooth over relations with the crab republic in exchange for dealing with a meddling squid. They were also informed that a capitalist crab cell had splintered off from the crab republic and was in open rebellion.

6. Jade played a song called “under the sea” to lure out the squid. The squid appeared shortly after.

7. The extraction team aboard the Tide Hunter maneuvered into engagement range, and acquired a lock on the target. The first harpoon attack connected with the squid, and the team began reeling it in. As the squid drew close to the ship, it was able to counterattack, but captain Ahab took evasive action. Zorn launched his crate of fish out of the ship’s cargo doors, and the squid took the bait. The crate had been trapped, and as the squid consumed it, the crate exploded from within the squid, taking much of the fight out of it. Seeing another impending counterattack from the squid, Jade hooked up the metal harpoon cable to a capacitor, and began draining the thunder squid of its ability to generate electrical discharges. Ersatz connected this capacitor to another harpoon, and completed the circuit, and the squid shocked itself into submission.

8. The extraction team informed Barley that they had the squid in captivity, but his offer had been beaten, so Barley increased his bid for the squid. The extraction team called up Argos Inc. to arrange a rendezvous location with the promised transport shuttle, and kept the squid subdued while transporting it back to Yasha, and held it there in captivity for 3 days without incident. During this time, Jade painted a masterful commemorative portrait. The transport vessel arrived on schedule. Both the transport vessel and the extraction team (aboard the Flying Taxman) departed Kadash at this point, and both reached their destinations without further incident.

9. The extraction team arrived back at headquarters nine (9) days later, and delivered their mission report. This report was filed some 30 days later due to suspension of normal company activities.

Met People Of Interest:

      Captain Ahab


+3 spare time points
+2/3 resource
+1/3 influence

+contact: Captain Ahab


Out to lunch. Will return next month.

- REDACTED (Corporate Analyst)

Animation of a squid being harpooned plays across helmet – Kevin

“You don’t need swimming lessons. Wood floats. Also, you don’t even need to breathe.” – Jade, to Zorn on enrolling in swimming lessons in preparation for the mission.

“Don’t touch that” – Aimee, to Zorn, on the helix flower.
“Don’t touch that” – Zorn, to Aimee, on her examining him because he’s a tree and she’s a botanist.

“Ink*Capacitated*” – Ersatz, on the squid being knocked out by being shocked by a capacitor.
“We are experiencing tentacle difficulties”
“Let’s get kraaken.”
“Squid pro quo.”
“Just squidding.”
“I have an ink-ling where the squid is.”
“I squid you audieu.”
“10/10 … tacle”

Mission Report 025

Alabaster Acquisition Associates, LLC gabriel_violette