Mission Report 026


AAA LLC. Headquarters
First Investigation Group (A)
Office of the Operations Officer

Day 399

SUBJECT: Narrative Report of Operations, 1st Extraction Group.
MISSION #026, Codename: Ark N408 (Rank D)
STATUS: Success?

      Lt. Cmdr. Ersatz, Commanding, MVP
      Joel Walker
      Vivienne Sparks

Explore the mysterious structure.


1. Associates departed HQ aboard the Flying Taxman on day 389, and arrived at the floating research platform on the Spur, on Mishpacha four (4) days later without incident.

2. Initial survey of the site of interest revealed two entrances, both at the top of the tower, as well as the site’s questionable structural integrity. It is also important to note that the ground surrounding the site of interest was entirely overrun with a peculiar, and dangerous fungus. Mission briefing encouraged our associates to treat the ground as if it were made of lava. Having a shuttle pilot circling on standby for emergency evac was advised, but due to Ersatz’ excessive resource allocation into the ship, the team was forced to commandeer a research drone and jury rig him to serve as their getaway pilot. The team successfully reprogrammed the drone, glued googly eyes on it, painted a broad smile across its face, and dubbed him “Russel Jimmy”.

3. Associates departed the research platform for the structure later the same day, under favorable weather conditions. Upon arrival at the top of the tower, it became apparent that the only way into the structure would be via a very dangerous jump across a gap dozens of stories up where the ground below was made of metaphorical lava, or demolition. Zorn basked in the sun for a while, charged up his new solar beam weaponry, and burned a way into the tower from the roof.

4. Investigation team descended into the tower, and found several rooms that at one time functioned as quarters, still stocked with strange ancient artifacts. Through investigation, Joel determined that various codified signs throughout the floor mentioned a release protocol. The team used their scans of the structure to flash weld their way down to the next floor via newly created hole.

5. On the next level, the team discovered a massive sealed door, which Joel Deciphered as making mention of “Manual Release”. With great effort, Zorn managed to open the door. Within the formerly sealed room, the team discovered more of the fungus that surrounded the structure, seemingly unresponsive unless sound or biosignatures tread close to it. Unfortunately for the team, the fungus attacked them as they attempted to make their way further into the structure.

6. The abridged version of events is as follows: numerous massive blooms of fungus did enough damage to the investigation team to force them into considering retreat, while the investigation team’s counterattacks were summarily ineffective due to the fungus’ ability to regenerate, even from death, and to multiply. Eventually, the team sorted out their formation in the cramped space, Vivienne’s henchmen and Ersatz (for once being surprisingly impervious to attacks and surprisingly effective in combat instead of his up-to-this point summary uselessness in combat) held the zombie fungus back while the team mustered an all-out assault including orbital bombardment on Vivienne’s targets. This attack merely served as a temporary delay, and to rouse other hostile plant matter from deeper within the structure. Realizing this, the team was forced to retreat, barely managing to re-seal the door behind them and escape into the awaiting shuttle, piloted by Russel Jimmy.

7. The team returned to the research platform with what they had gathered, and shortly thereafter, the structure plunged into the earth and was swallowed by the surrounding fungal colonies in short order, effectively lost forever. In their follow-ups they determined it was likely the structure was, in fact, one of the original Archon colonization vessels.

8. The team boarded The Flying Taxman with Russel Jimmy in tow, and arrived back at HQ four (4) days later, without further incident. This report was filed the following day.


+2 spare time points
+1/3 resource


Our standards for mission success have come under fire recently as in the aftermath of this mission, a widespread infestation of zombie fungus has overrun a region of the spur. Prior containment efforts were not sufficient to prevent the accelerated overgrowth that began immediately after the ark was unsealed by our operatives. Moreover, the loss of the opportunity to study what appeared to be the original genuine article of an archon settlement ship with so much left unexplored due to a lack of proper munitions has caused outcry from various academic institutions.
In light of this, our board has decided to shut down acquisition operations temporarily to prevent any further PR disasters until this blows over.

Fortunately, the timeline for this shutdown aligns with Lt. Cmdr. Ersatz’ redeployment to the front lines in the escalating conflict against the mechonids in Remnant-controlled space. We can only hope that this long-term exposure to watching allies be eaten alive and facing hackers superior to him will be good for his sanity and curb his erratic behaviour and … let’s call them hoarding tendencies (seriously, between the frozen test subjects, kidnapped drones, and stolen broadcast satellites, it’s getting to be a bit much).

- REDACTED (Corporate Analyst)

“Don’t breathe, and don’t shout! … oh wait.” – Zorn

“Fire the chickens!” – Vivienne

Mission Report 026

Alabaster Acquisition Associates, LLC gabriel_violette