Alabaster Acquisition Associates, LLC
Mission Report 023
AAA LLC. Headquarters
First Special Forces Group (A)
Office of the Operations Officer
SUBJECT: Narrative Report of Operations, 1st Special Forces Group.
MISSION #023, Codename: Reality TV (Rank C)
SPECIAL OPERATIONS TEAM
Lt. Cmdr. Ersatz, Commanding
Alden Valkyrie, MVP
Use the video op to advertise for Body Count Conglomerate.
0. Kevin and Bradley modified their weaponry to use non-lethal rounds. The team met with the mission requestor, one Mr. Vandyke, where after Ersatz lambasted him for breach of protocol, they were briefed and supplied with weapons, ammunition, and awful track suits. Vivienne worked out a deal where she could use the nobody nose as part of a teaser promotional campaign, and Bradley secured a long-term sponsorship. The team paid a visit to Eliot Whelmington, and had him alter the suits. Special mention to Alden for sporting a very unique monocle with blinds. The team used the remaining time before filming of the show began to learn about their opponents and their tactics.
1. The team departed for the start location in Alabaster 1 aboard the Flying Taxman on day 304, and arrived without incident. In the lobby, they established links to most potential ally teams’ comm systems (the palantor, remnant, twi-far, and nephilim teams), but did not secure comm links to probable adversaries (the gun club (who used lethal weaponry), ninja team 7 (due to language barrier), the gaze of the void (due to them not using comms), and the league (due to them probably being present to assassinate the team)).
2. When the event began, all teams ran for the exit, but the ninjas got out first, and sneakily placed a device on each of the other teams’ shuttles. Feeling wary about the potential of a ninja infiltrating their shuttle, our team did a thorough scan, fired an unarmed warhead at their own shuttle to spook any ninjas on board off, and electrified the hull, disabling the planted device. The team conveyed the presence of these devices to all potentially allied teams.
3. The team cruised toward Gehenna, where the next clue in the show’s puzzle was located. Along the way, they detected an interdiction bubble. They advised all potential allies of its location, and agreed on forming a temporary alliance to launch a coordinated strike. Upon entering the area, the allied fleet was pulled into engagement range with a (very shoddy) fleet of pirate ships. Upon threat of torpedo barrage, the pirates agreed to let the fleet pass, but insisted on firing a few parting shots for dramatic effect since they were, in fact, planted employees of the show. The team passed through the obstacle theatrically.
4. The allied fleet encountered the gun club’s vessel. With the threat of a combined assault unless the gun club joined their alliance, the gun club was brought into the fold.
5. The team encountered broadcast sattelites in orbit around Gehenna, broadcasting the potential locations of the site of the object of interest. The team abducted one of the sattelites, and processed the information it was broadcasting before causing it to send false signals. By hacking the show’s cameras, the team managed to locate the real site, where the ninja and league teams had already arrived. The real coordinates of the site where the object of interest was hidden were sent to the allied fleet, and they rendezvoused and began a coordinated ground assault.
6. The combined ally team entered the ruin at the site. They sealed the entrance behind them. Alden sowed the seeds of betrayal among the various component factions of the alliance as they advanced down the dim hallways, searching for the object of interest. A short while later, the Gaze of the Void team arrived and began attempting to open the sealed door. Driven by the sound of their attempts to destroy the door, the alliance swiftly advanced down the halls until they came at last to a great room lined with stone sentinels. Ersatz stepped on a pressure plate, which awoke them, and then the alliance fled back the way they came, toward the Gaze. They ran past the doorway before it was unsealed, and straight into a hall full of traps. Luckily, by this time, the Gaze had managed to open the door, and were immediately engaged by the alliance’s pursuers, occupying both opposing factions at once. Alden dismantled the trapped hallway with explosives, and the alliance advanced to the foundry, where the object of interest was located. Inside, they finally found ninja team 7, and in a short and decisive victory in a completely staged fight, knocked them all into pits of lava (which were actually just special effects planted by the show). Ersatz convinced the alliance that they could turn the object of interest in to the host and all win the show’s prize together.
7. The alliance forces cautiously made to exit the ruins, unaware of where the Gaze or the League could be lurking. As they exited, the bulk of the remnant team was separated from them behind a stasis wall. By the time the wall was disabled, they had mysteriously disappeared. The alliance traveled toward Alabaster I on alert.
8. Three days into their travels, the twi-far vessel mysteriously vanished. Investigation into the site revealed psionic activity. The team deemed it likely that the Gaze was a splinter cell of the same organization that had kidnapped Emily Gatling, and was not present to participate in the game show, but to abduct psionics. With no leads, they had to abandon the quest to locate their missing members. The team arrived on Alabaster I eight (8) days later without further incident.
9. The team, acting on paranoia protocol at this time, separated the alliance into three groups, and staged a diversion while a member of each team in the alliance delivered the object of interest at the same time. Expecting the delivery site to be guarded by the League and or the Gaze, the allied forces advanced cautiously. Their caution was needless, though. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, and they were declared the game show’s victors, and used the promotional opportunity to plug Body Count Conglomerate.
10. At the show’s conclusion, Alden spoke with the gun club, and pulled them into a deal with Mr. Vandyke. Out of appreciation, the gun club revealed that they had been hired by the (nowhere to be found) League to kill our team, but had decided to cancel that contract. The team returned to headquarters to report via shuttle the same day. This report was filed the following day.
Met People Of Interest:
+3 spare time points
+1 broadcast sattelite
ADDENDUM: ANALYST REPORT:
Our associates have not engaged in real combat in quite some time, yet they still inspire enough enmity for hits to be taken out against them. I hope this temporary lack of activity doesn’t dull their combat skills when they do finally need them most.
- REDACTED (Corporate Analyst)
ADDENDUM: INTERCEPTED COMMS:
“It’s time to roll” – Vivienne, at Bank’s Rolls and Buns
“You threaten people with nuclear armaments on a regular basis.” – Vivienne
“That’s how you make friends.” – Ersatz
“I just can’t think about them with a straight face” – Vivienne, In regards to the Gaze